Taking the Non-Linear Path

On learning to embrace adventure

For most of my life, I’ve followed the rules.

I’ve always coloured within the lines, checked the pre-determined boxes, and walked the path expected of me by family, teachers, friends, colleagues, and society at large. I assumed and hoped that walking a secure path laid out by those who came before me would lead to a life of abundance and fulfilment. Surely it would at some point, right?

I desperately wanted to be content with the straight road. It was safe, logical and its rewards were promising to the masses - financial security, social status, and the typical comforts that money provides. Yet, at the start of my 28th year here, a question crept towards the forefront of my mind, "How long are you going to walk the secure path waiting for fulfilment to come?" I tried to ignore it but it persisted, firmly lodging itself within the very substance of my psyche.

After much deliberation, I realized that the answer to the nagging question of "How long?" was indeed "Not much longer." As the months passed by, I became cognizant of life's fleeting nature. A quote attributed to the Buddha came to mind,

The problem is that we think we have time.

I began to contemplate some of life's grandest questions, "What do I want to look back on in the end? What impact do I want to leave? What regrets can I not bear?"

I often wonder why these questions persisted. Why was I unable to ignore them and simply continue on my path of comfort and predictable outcomes? I think the answer lies within the depths of self-awareness. I've always had an acute sense of the things in this life that do not interest me. I knew from early on that I didn't enjoy shallow conversations centered around small talk and dove instead into as many books as I could put my tiny hands on. At the age of eight, I wrote a letter to my mother outlining my concerns with attending church and professed my atheism, much to her well-intentioned disapproval. Upon entering medical school in 2014, there was a deep sense of knowing that I would not be a doctor, at least in the traditional sense of the word, for very long.

While what I did not like was crystal clear, figuring out what I did enjoy was a tricky pursuit. As a child and teenager, my happiest memories were those that gave my innate creativity free reign to explore itself. I basked in the periods away from studying where I could craft, paint, film, and write. I loved getting lost in the depths of learning a new creative skill. These were the moments that I felt most alive and fulfilled. But, my interests were varied, and the biggest question, the most terrifying question continuously presented itself, "How exactly am I to make a consistent income doing any of these things?"

At graduation, I remember witnessing a distinct dissonance settle within me. Many of my friends were excited to begin their journey as new doctors. I was relieved that medical school was finally over but a sense of accomplishment evaded me, no matter how hard I tried to embody it. I enjoyed a much-needed break from clinical medicine for two months until the gravity of the COVID-19 pandemic became evident and I accepted work in medicine for the next three years. While I enjoyed my work environment and was grateful to have employment and a means to provide for myself, the lack of fulfilment that I experienced was massive and weighed heavily on me.

On my days off, I continued to follow where my creative compass led. I built Notion templates and workspaces to organize and optimise personal workflows as well as those of others. The digital landscape became my canvas. I also wrote more and even started a YouTube channel. Joining online communities and continuing to develop my skills in working with digital tools like Notion and Tana made me realize that an opportunity was presenting itself and that I could not let it pass me by.

It is now nine months since I submitted my letter of resignation, leaving clinical medicine to explore a path of self-employment and freelancing based on my creative and organizational skills. The decision to embark on this journey was not an easy one to make but looking back, it was the first decision that I made on my own to change the trajectory of my life's direction.

There are a plethora of uncertainties that lie ahead but I'm grateful to be surrounded by supportive family members, friends and a growing sense of intuition. I continue to be amazed by the magnificent individuals that I meet via social media communities, some of these relationships blossoming into treasured friendships.

The most profound realization that I've come to, and the one which has allowed me to trust this entire process more, is that I don't have to be one thing. I don't have to be confined to a singular job title. I can be a doctor specialising in health education, a Notion Consultant, a writer, a YouTuber or an online business manager. I can also go back to medicine if that feels like my next best step or I can venture into something completely new. I can follow my innate compass of creative exploration through a multitude of avenues. This newfound agency has brought me closer to the vibrant core of my passions, reminding me that fulfilment is not found in conformity but in the courageous pursuit of one's true Self.